Memorial day weekend..

Is June seriously starting this week? Craziness! We had a very fun filled weekend. My uncle rich flew out from montana and stayed with us on Friday night. Saturday we went out to lunch and then we went to the mariners game. It was so much fun. It was me, Justin, jaymeson, my mom, and my uncle rich. Jaymeson did better than expected! Sunday we worked on our yard, which is looking very beautiful. And then today Justin went in to work and jaymeson and I ventured down to folklife festival. It was a great day! We parked at the north gate park and ride and took the bus to down town Seattle. We walked around, listen to music, got jaymeson a new hat, ate some food, people watched, and then headed home. I even had time to go get my hair cut tonight :-) Tomorrow I start my new job.. YAY! I am working 8am-5pm. It is going to be a long day but it will be awesome to make money AND have my baby with me :-)

9 months already..

Can you believe that jaymeson is already 9 months old?? 9 months ago I was in MUCHO pain, and in 3 hours our beautiful baby was in my arms. Crazy to think that he is closer to his 1 year birthday then he is to his actual birth!

- What's up with our little guy... He is 24lbs 1oz. and 29 inches long. He is in the 95 percentile for total growth. He has 6 teeth. Four on top and two on the bottom. He can crawl, and fast! He can stand up and hold on to many different things. And he walks along the furniture and passes from one thing to the next. He still doesn't sleep through the night but I am used to his night time feedings and it's okay with me :-) He is still mostly Breastfeeding but has snacks throughout the day. His favorites are his "puffs", yogurt melts, "mum mum's", and then with baby food he LOVES squash and sweet potatoes. His favorite adult foods are olives and green beans. He hasn't said any words yet but he babbles a lot and nods his head at us all the time, as if saying he agrees lol. He also LOVES to clap and does it quite often. Lol. Well thats all I can think of for now!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day : ) This jar-vase was handmade by me (and Jaymeson) for my mother. It was an idea from pinterest of course, and turned out great! 

My mother's day was perfect. Jaymeson woke us up at 6:30am of course, and Justin grabbed him and in his PJ's they went to the store and got me a coffee and flowers. I hoped in the shower and took my time getting myself together for the day. Then when I was done I came out to our dinning room to find flowers and a beautiful necklace from my hubby, and then a little rose bush and a "bear" cup from my little "lovey bear" baby. Justin then made us blueberry muffins for breakfast. Later my mom and dad came over for lunch and then Justin worked on the yard and mowed the lawn. Now I am just hanging out, enjoying this beautiful day, lost in my thoughts. It has been a truly wonderful day but I can't help but feel a little sad. Feeling a little sad about the relationships and friendships that have failed. Feeling sad about the lack of family around today. I know I should just be happy about the wonderful day but there feels like something is missing : /  Hmmm..  Maybe it's just that our little family is mellow and small and I am used to holidays be big and hectic. 

our day at the park.. (last week)..

Hello my name is Jaymeson and I like to swing : )

sometimes all alone...

or sometimes with my mommy...

or sometimes I like to slide with daddy...

or take a break for a picnic...

then it's back to crawling with daddy...

then ending our adventure by going on the tire swing with mommy...

My mommy and daddy are the best when it comes to adventures : ) 

- love Jaymeson

I LOVE THIS... A letter from a momma to her daughter..

I Will Not Nurse You Forever

by SARAH on MAY 5, 2012 · 

Dear Daughter,

You are only three weeks old and so no one really asks yet about your weaning time.  Those questions will come later, along with the many and varied opinions about when you should be weaned. Having been through this twice before with your older brothers, I already know the answer to this.

Let me share a secret with you. Weaning is misunderstood. It views nursing as an act with a beginning and an end where the end is chosen and a hard drawn line in the sand. It’s not like that.

Nursing is a part of motherhood, of parenthood. It blends in with all of the other things and it fades in from the obligations of pregnancy and then fades out into the series of obligations of a parent to their growing child.

There was no hard drawn line for the start. Even before your birth you drew from my body. You grew within my womb. You were nourished from my placenta. I was your life support system and home while you prepared to be born. It was when you were ready to be born that you signaled to my body that it was time, and it was then that labor began.

Moments after you were born. You squinched your little eyes at me and bobbed your head around and fussed because you understood that there was something to be done, but not what to do.  Instead of sucking, you chomped down. Then you pulled your head back and mewled. We worked together and gradually you learned what to do. And a few days later you stopped biting and set into an easy pattern of nursing that allowed my cracked nipples to heal and my milk to flow.

I do not know the moment that you were conceived. I do not know the moment that your cord stopped pulsing. I do not know the moment that you stopped chomping down and began to nurse.

Some day you will no longer need the sustenance from my body, your suckling reflex will fade away, and instead of turning eagerly toward my breast you will do as your older brother does now as I am writing this. You’ll turn your back to me and curl into my arms in a different way, and you will comfort yourself to sleep with my proximity rather than my breast. And then on another day further into the future you will be even more independent still and instead of curling into my arm you will use my belly as a pillow while you talk to me about Kindergarten friends, as your oldest brother does. And then you will walk back to your own room and your own bed, and you will fall asleep on your own.

I do not know the moment that you will stop nursing. I do not know the moment that you will stop comforting yourself to sleep with the closeness of me. I do not know the moment that you will move off and be fully independent with a life of your own creation. I know that you will do each of these things when it is time for you to do them. And I know that I will smile with pride at your independence even if I want to hold on a little longer.

The commitment that I’ve made to you is life-long. There is no hard start, no hard ending, no fading away of obligation. There is no “weaning” that I plan on doing. There is you. There is your quest for independence. There are the needs that drive your little body and that will fade and change with time. And there is me. My job is simply to be here and meet your needs as you have them. I need neither to push you away nor hold onto you, as you will peel off or cling close according to your needs.

You already have that drive for independence and will take it eagerly at your own pace. Weaning is not something that I need to do. It is something that you will do as an inevitable part of growing up and of life.

I will not hold you back, and I will not push you away. I will not nurse you forever, but I will always be there for you and I will always love you.

<3 Mama

Who am I?

I sit here and think about the type of parent/person I have become and it surprises me (in a good way). A year ago I was 6 months pregnant. I thought "I am going to TRY to breastfeed for 3 months". I thought Jaymeson would be sleeping in his crib right after birth. I never would have attempted cloth diapering. And I planned on going back to work full-time... but who am I?

I am breastfeeding an 8 1/2 month old who shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. I am "bed sharing", meaning that Jaymeson sleeps right next to me and always has and always will (until he wants to sleep in his own bed). I cloth diaper and LOVE it. And I only work less than 10 hours a week. 

I LOVE being at home. I would rather be with Jaymeson then have the worry of him with someone else. I love our family and I LOVE LOVE my amazing husband who supports every single decision and parenting choices we have made. He LOVES everything we do for and with our son. I can't even imagine having a partner who didn't support my choices. 

I have been finding passion in photography and crafts. I love everything about our life and can't imagine things being any different. 

I am a peaceful, attached parent and every day I see the love and joy on Jaymeson's face that screams "THANK YOU MOM FOR LOVING ME SO DAMN MUCH!" 

Another month gone

Well another month has gone by... April was a great month, we were very busy in the Bruce household. Jaymeson and I went on many adventures. We went to greenlake, tulip festival, woodland park zoo, interurban trail, swimming at the lynnwood pool, and more! It's been fun getting out of the house and enjoying ourselves. Some parts of me wish that we would have started doing more while he was younger, but then I look back on how hard times were and how exhausted I was and think that everything happens when the times right. Even now I get exhausted when we go on adventures but I am soooo used to it now that it doesn't bother me. Not to mention how great jaymeson does makes it totally worth it. What's new? Let's see here, as far as jaymeson goes, he has 6 teeth, two on the bottom and four on the top. He is a full blown crawler. He can stand for LONG periods of time while holding onto anything. He will even walk his hands up a wall and just stand there proped against the wall. I am not sure how close to walking he is, we don't push him, we just let him do his thing. He is 8 months and 1 week and Justin and I are thinking he may be walking by 9 1/2 months.. We will see! This Friday I go back to work. I transferred to the Marysville PETCO, it is much much closer to home. I am only going to work once a week to start. And then two days a week later. While I am working my good friend Kendra will be watching jaymeson and her daughter Tegan. Tegan is 3 weeks younger than jaymeson. Also, every Wednesday I will be taking my turn and watching both jaymeson and Tegan. I can't wait to watch the two really get a good chance to interact. It will be a good test to see how I do with two babies! Of course it will be more like having twins but it will still nice to see how I will juggle feedings and naps.. Lol. Oth than that, we are just getting ready for an amazing summer to come!